Evolution as known to chocoholics

Many many years ago, it is believed by the Mexicans, the earth was created from chocolate. The earth's crust was a delicately baked and crisply definite slice of buttery Lindt wafer. Above it, it upheld a frothy, angry, creamy mass of the most arduous bitter chocolate that man had ever seen. The topmost layer was embedded with fossiled dried fruit, pieces of nuts and raisins, sealed in by a lighter milk chocolate that was fertile enough to create and nourish the entire yet to be born world.
One day, god, who unlike the gods you and I adore, was potbellied and jovial, and was infinitely smart enough to have created absolutely no evil forces to be dealt with and hence enjoyed his chocolate in piece...er..peace.... stopped chewing. In the middle of negotiating a particularly large lump of butterscotch that tended to stick in his teeth (he had also, in his infinite mercy, seen to the non creation of any cavities), god paused. Now, unlike when you and I pause, which is pretty much all of the time, and the larger part of our evolutionary status, when god pauses, the silence can be quite horrific, anything, but anything could happen.
So anyhow, god paused. The chocolate paused stirring. The wafts of cocoa stopped emanating from the nougat filled cente of the earth. The silver foil moon stopped crackling and everyone looked askance at the Lord to see what on the chocolate filled earth could cause this pause.
And for the first time since god had created the earth, he spoke. "I cannot possibly eat all this chocolate on my own," he said. "It would never end, and how infintely boring would that be." So he stopped, and pushing the soft brown earth between his fingers, using the smaller bits of fruit for eyes and the larger bits for various unmentionable appendages, god created man.
At first man could not move. And then, lest he sink back into the creamy puddle from whence he came, god pushed him to eat, and he ate from the far-from-forbidden fruit. It was paradise. And that is why they say paradise is chocolate.
And they all grew fat and round and jolly. There was so much chocolate inside and outside of them, that there was no violence, no cheating, no snitching, no swiping, no pilfering, no sharing. Life was simple and chocolatey. And then, one day, some smart alec said, let's share further. Let's send newsletters around the end of the world to share our joys with others. And the first scribes were born. They toiled and slaved, carving the words out on the skin of a extra large cocoa pod and sending it out to the ends of the world.
And thus journalists and chocolates created the beginnings of the modern world, which is why Mumbai hacks pass the parcels of chocolate round the office with so much bonhomie on diwali day.