Sex & Spirituality / Times Life Feb 1/ 2009

Hdg:Is sex the way to spirituality? Intro: Can you be a sexual as well as spiritual being? Gayatri speaks to masters of the mind and body to find where the twain meet Body copy: Would you accept as your spiritual guru, one who is sexually active? Is sex more important than God? And must you choose between them? Ask a teenager and the answer seems obvious. "God made us sexual beings. It's as primal as hunger, why choose?" Before you dismiss it as licentiousness, remember it's an answer even the Buddha contemplated. Spiritual writer Parveen Chopra was a few days into a 10-day Vipassana camp, when he was disturbed by a series of erotic dreams. On the 10th day, the supervisor explained, "With extensive cleansing, deep-rooted vasanas and sanskaras, get released. Intense meditation manifests repressed sexual desires embedded in the psyche." Accepting sexual urges, not repressing them, is the key. Zen master Osho said, "Human beings can never be separated from sex. One is born out of it. Existence has accepted the energy of sex as the starting point of creation, and your holy men call it sinful… something that existence itself does not consider a sin! One has not to fight with sex, but to create a friendship with it, and elevate the stream of life to the heights." Sex and spirituality first held hands in the 60s and turned to India for influence. Fitness expert Rahul Dev explains; "One of the seven prime chakras is the sacral or swadhisthana chakra which nurtures sexual energy, and it is where spirituality and sex meet." Yoga expert Shameem Akhtar directs "the chakra can be awakened through Kundalini yoga, thrice during one surya namaskar, and once with bhujangasana, intertwining spiritual-sexual energy." Former MTV head honcho Cyrus Oshidar, describes its effects. "The Hare Krishna's of the 60s and the influence of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi was magnified by the kind of lunatic fan following the Beatles had. At such a time, music to 'change the world' emerged with Joni Mitchell, Simon and Garfunkel and others, and India became the hub of its spiritual influence." Madonna's experiments with Kabbalah's Book of Sexand Sting's tantra continued the influence. Sting said, "It's about ritualising a period of the day with your partner; touching each other, reaching deeper levels of connection. Sex is only the surface. Tantra is about reconnecting with the world of the spirit through everyday things. My church happens to be the person I live with. She is my connection to the sacred." While lovers of sex integrated spiritual angles to the physical act, spiritualists exalted their devotion in sexual terms. Rumi and other Sufi poets referred to the Lord as the lover, Lord Shiva devotees exalted phallic symbolism, as did devotees of Krishna belonging to the Radha cult. Radha, born Veronica in Guatemala, has lived for over 35 years in an ashram in Andhra Pradesh. She says, "God to me is my husband, my lover. Surrender is always of tan, man, dhan." She smiles, "I am always in a state of Ananda." Sexologist Dr Prakash Kothari explains, "There are two paths to Moksha; the first of Lord Mahavira, where you don't experience sex at all; the second is tantra where you enjoy it so much that no desire is left. The second is said to be tougher. What is Brahmanand? Even the Vedas describe it as 1,000 times the pleasure of Sambhoganand (the bliss of union). Brahmacharya is 'searching for the soul' and even for Jains, marriage is the first step. Modern distortions are not mentioned in either Charak Samahita or Kamasutra." And yet, spiritual stalwarts remain celibate. At 36, Gandhi took a vow of celibacy, as did a young APJ Abdul Kalam at the ashram of Swami Sivananda in Hrishikesh. Where do the two seamlessly fit together, if at all? Sex is primal, like hunger, and thirst. But while spiritual seekers indulge their thirst and hunger, they suppress the urge for sex. The key is moderation. Khurshed Batliwala, head of the youth wing of the Art of Living explains the difference between sex out of lust and love, "Love is the ultimate experience two people can experience in their physical body." Everyday minds don't distinguish clearly between primal urges and mental desires. Taoist guru Mantak Chia in his Taoist Secrets of Lovesays, "Many confuse hunger and sex as being similar. Clearly they are connected, as many people feeling sexual frustration turn to food for gratification. An imbalance in ching(sex) energy ranks as a major cause of obesity — when you are sexually frustrated, food is the easiest substitute." Control comes only through conviction, says spiritual guru Andrew Cohen who explains his personal struggle to remain sexually active. "As my spiritual yearning grew, I began to find it an annoying distraction. When I embarked on a three-year period of celibacy, I learned more about sexuality than ever before. I came to the conclusion that lifelong celibacy didn't make sense for one who was living in the world." Soko Morinaga, Zen Shaolin monk, explains the simplest truth about sex and spirituality, "When Japanese Saint Hônen was asked whether a Buddhist religious person should be celibate, he said 'If it is easier for him to express faith by reciting the Buddha's name alone, he should be celibate. If it is easier to do that with a spouse, it is better to marry. What is important is only how one expresses one's faith'." Deepak Chopra directs you to use sexual energy spiritually; "In any situation where we feel attraction, awakening, alertness, passion, interest, inspiration, excitement, sexual energy is at work. Whenever we feel these, we must nourish its energy in awareness. Sexual desire is sacred and chaste. Its suppression is false, ugly and unchaste. Bliss is its essence. That is connect enough."